From heroes dying to shady tech giants, some of 2012 gave us a one way ticket to Bummertown.
A big disappointment for me this year was the overwhelming amount of misogyny that seemed to be coming to surface in our country. It’s always been there, but this year seemed an especially hateful one for the ladies. We all know about the disgusting and even medically inaccurate comments made by various politicians (Todd Akin, Roger Rivard, Richard Mourdock) during this year’s election cycle, and it didn’t stop there.
A Tomb Raider reboot was planned where iconic video game character Laura Croft starts off less of a badass so players can be her “helper” as she fends off a gang rape. Apparently the creators thought that was the only way to get men to be interested in a game with a female lead.
The sudden death of 60s teen idol and Monkees singer Davy Jones was a particular bummer for me since this has been my favorite band since I was four years old. By all accounts, Jones seemed to be in fine health and was still performing as recently as the week prior to his heart attack. With his passing in February of 2012, a piece of my childhood went with him.
December 30, 1945-February 29, 2012
The Instagram Transaction
I always wondered how the very popular and very free photo sharing app was going to continue its momentum as it cost no money to download and was ad-free. It was started by really smart successful people who were friends with really smart successful people, and the very brief history of Instagram includes the financial, technical, and business-minded help of folks associated with Google, Twitter, Facebook, and more. Naturally, it met tremendous and rapid success, and social/tech messiahs continued to invest in and befriend Instagram. It was no shock to me when Facebook bought it, but when I found out it was going to cost a whole BILLION dollars, I knew its users were facing a lot of future complaints. Complaints such as not supporting posting to Facebook’s competitors, potentially selling your pictures, and who knows when data collection is going to come up. Instagram has to pay its way off somehow.
2012 was the strongest example for my absurdist heart of how amazing breakthroughs in technology, design, and communication are more than just completely redefining our sociological evolution, all while often run by a rampant boy’s club (sure, there are a couple women in there*) that uses smaller great ideas as pawns for our growing dependency on corporately owned interactions.
These things always have been and always will be gross. Every now & then I test this theory but Vanilla is not your flavor, Tootsie Roll!
The County Un-Fair!
This year I went to the Washington County Fair for the first time ever and they didn’t even have a funhouse. Also, it breaks my heart that what I thought were eccentric carnies this whole time might just be tweakers.
Sports 1, Morals 0
With Joe Paterno dying after a really long successful life of not getting child molested and Bobby Petrino getting fired for an inappropriate relationship he brought to work, I was more than disappointed to see and hear collective reactions from typically decent people favoring athletic glory over what’s right.
Michael Bay, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are NOT ALIENS and I will not be watching your movie whenever it finally comes out, just like I didn’t watch Transformers. HARUMPH.
THC Take me Away
The toxicology reports for the guy who ate the other guy’s face in Florida May 2012 revealed he was not on bath salts or PCP and the only substance he had in his system (whether before or during is unknown) was marijuana. Somehow this news didn’t blow up on the Internet and was cancelled out by premature zombie and bubble bath jokes.
There were a number of notable cultural icons who passed away in 2012, Etta James, the eternal teenager Dick Clark, Adam Yauch, Levon Helm, The mighty Don Cornelius, Whitney Houston, to name a few. All of which had a massive influence on generations of people.
I found myself most bummed out when Robin Gibb passed. Groing up as a child of the 70s, The Bee-Gees were played quite alot in my house. Robins’ boyish charm and sweet gentle delivery still makes me a little misty eyed when I hear him sing.
I was also very sad to hear that Henson puppeteer Jerry Nelson passed. Nelson was the voice and hand behind a number of Muppets, most famously bringing life to Count von Count among others. Super sad to see another of the Henson players leave us.
No Sex Tape!
When Yo-Landi Vi$$er didn’t leak any sex-tapes to us masses, it was a damn shame. The official music video for “Baby’s On Fire” was the closest she let us get, but them boys were too pretty, so no thanks. When she finally drops us into her boudoir, I bet it will be full of salamanders and congenital disorders and her fantastic cupcakes. It will probably just change the sex game forever is all.
No Witch School!
When my invitation to a prestigious school for witches didn’t come 26 years in a row, I was pretty vexed. I have proven I am patient! I have proven I am devout! I sang “Witchy Woman” by The Eagles in my fourth-grade talent show, for Sheitan’s sake! Where are the Bene Gesserit when you’ve been yelling for them all your life?
No Cat Battle!
When Ceiling Cat did not rain down Purrmageddon in the ultimate showdown against Basement Cat for all our eternal souls, I began to wonder. Have we taken these carnivorous cuddly creatures into our homes and hearts for nothing? Could the Egyptians have been so wrong? Is my future-familiar not telling me something? Did we all REALLY come from Africa?!
On the Realz Though:
Here are some things that actually happened in 2012 that were a raging bummerfest –
When they remade the 2010 Spanish film La Casa Muda into an American film called Silent House. The Spanish film was beautiful and amazing in that it was shot in one long continuous take over four days with two lamps and a handful of light tubes. Of course, the U.S. did that no justice.
When FOX cancelled Jonah Hill’s animated show Allen Gregory because everyone needs more precocious and crass children in their life, real or not.
When they found the tomb of that perfectly intact musician lady-mummy in Egypt and it didn’t spray whoever opened it with zombie dust, as I am sure this is how the zombie apocalypse will begin, with someone poking around in and opening things they shouldn’t, because I’m ready to get my Milla on and let the bloodlust rule my life.