Roar-O-Scopes for the Bored and Placid during the holidaze.

 

Aquarius

If you leave your shoes

on overnight, those leather

elves might resole your heart.

Aries

‘Tis the season for red-noses

and shivers and sneaking

drinks to sugarplum sleep.

Gemini

The annual collective dropping

of a giant ball is how we

celebrate our unkept promises.

Leo

The road to self-improvement

is paved with confessions

and essential oils.

Libra

When sleigh bells ring,

everyone thinks,

“oh no, not this again.”

Sagittarius

The TSA ain’t got

nothing on your chimney’s

screening process.

Pisces

You’re slipping on the frost

in your eyelashes but the

clouds cleared out so long ago.

Taurus

You kiss like there’s

always mistletoe above

you but nobody is forcing this.

Cancer

The last day

of the year teases you

like a small apocalypse.

Virgo

Antlers make most

things harder better stronger.

Exception: good head.

Scorpio

Sleeping in a manger

would heighten your

sense of humanity, too.

Capricorn

All the reasons

for a silent night

are about to wake up.

[Header photograph courtesy of K Wrez.]

bouyant purveyor of messages from thin air. rap fiend. amazon leans. always lookin for more black art and candy and scary dreams.

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