Top Chef Season 9 was a huge disappointment. I’ve been a fan of that show for years and love rooting for my favorite chefs, but I gave up halfway through this one and didn’t even go back to see who won. I think Top Chef 9 was already fighting an uphill battle because it followed the All-Star Season 8 which brought back the fan favorites from the previous years’ non-winning contestants. After seeing talented chef-testants that were so familiar and and well-known compete, it was difficult to give a shit about the unknowns in a brand new season, which also happened to start out with a larger number of chefs than ever before. Who wants to see MORE of the dreck get cleaned out before getting to the good stuff? The season never seemed to gain momentum, I couldn’t ever remember who was who due to a lack of interesting personalities, and the addition of the Last Chance Kitchen webseries that allowed contestants a chance to win their spot back after elimination was just annoying. I haven’t watched any of Season 10 yet, but I’m hoping it’s better and has more interesting contestants and food than Season 9.
Worst Movie Letdown
The Bourne Legacy
I thought The Bourne Legacy was a huge step down from the other movies in the Bourne series. Jeremy Renner playing Alex Cross just fell flat compared to Matt Damon’s Jason Bourne, and the entire movie seemed to drag on forever. If a high speed motorcycle chase seems too long and boring, something is wrong.
I am ashamed that I even know what this is, but I will chalk it up to having attended 3 weddings this year. While part of me is admittedly laughing, the other part of me is asking, “What the….?!” A rather unlikely candidate for a pop star, the singer is South Korea’s PSY, who looks like an Asian Porky Pig. The phenomenon includes a ridiculous dance that unfortunately I’ve seen catch on in real life, and somehow this video with him rapping from the toilet has gained “the most-liked Youtube video ever” in 2012 (ew.com). Between the boat-dancing complete with life vest and the overly happy dude who is practically tea bagging him in the elevator, it’s a lot like driving past the scene of a car wreck on the side of the road; a travesty, yet you can’t look away. What is the world coming to?
Worst Song Remake
Kate Nash – All Day and All of the Night
Sigh. I repeat. Big, deep, heavy sigh. I just don’t understand this remake, and it’s not just because I’m a Kinks fanatic. I can’t tell if Kate Nash is supposed to sound sexy or bored, or bored of being sexy, or so bored it’s sexy. And those “heavier” transitions seem so contrived, like it’s trying to be rock n’ roll for Halloween.
I can appreciate a good cover of a classic favorite, both the kind that plays it safe and stays true to the original, and the kind that deviates into its own artistic spin. I admit, my knowledge of Kate Nash is limited, and her other music must not be my style, but I feel like my life would be better if I was spared hearing this.
Worst Television Programming
I’m not much of a sports fan but I have always loved the Summer Olympics. NBC acted like watching the Olympics streaming live online would be as easy as, well, watching the Olympics streaming live online. Not so. Basically, you had to login with your cable service account and prove you subscribed to some NBC channel to access much of anything. Why the hell would I NEED to watch it on my computer if I had the ability to watch it on my television?!* There wasn’t even an option to temporarily subscribe and pay a small fee. From what I read all over Twitter that week, it sounded like NBC screwed up everything about airing the Olympics anyways.
*Besides watching it somewhere other than home. Whatever.
Worst Film Hype
Cabin in the Woods
It seemed that the hype on how innovative, scary, and unique this film was somehow made it into every conversation, interaction, and engine search for me before and after its release. Having always been into horror films and ready for a jolting thrill, I was pumped to see this new take on a very threadbare genre that seems to have been overtaken by brutal realistic domestic violence rather than develop an interesting angle and concept.
I was incredibly let down. It felt like a “cut-n-paste” nod to a number of classics in this field, which I respect, but the cheese factor was too high. The monsters were silly, twists were predictable, and not once did I feel at all scared. It wasn’t bad as a film overall, it just wasn’t a scary film at all. Maybe Cabin in the Woods 2 or 3 will be scarier.
The Worst People
(In no particular order.)
No talent, drug slurred lyrical delivery, infantile and unintelligent lyrics. If this is Hip-Hop’s best, I think I’ll pass.
We’ve all heard the song, 1,000,00 times. It wasn’t catchy the first time, and it was the last time I heard it.
Country? Pop? Children’s? Who cares, it’s the worst trite on the radio today, and anyone over the age of 15 that likes this garbage: please seek medical attention.
The Republicans party’s selection for President showed us that sometimes, those with the most money and the best smile aren’t always the best choice.
Worst Movie I Saw
Lovely Molly – So it’s a serious-feeling film about a woman with problems who keeps seeing her dead, evil father as a giant, invisible, sodomizing stallion beast-man. There are all the reasons you need to never watch it.
Worst Album I Listened To
Liars – WIXIW
I’ma be 100 about how I didn’t listen to a lot of new music this year, but the new Liars album, WIXIW, was the worst. And they used to make me so happy. They used to be so noisy. You know how a band will have that one dumb album that doesn’t fit in at all with the rest of their discography? Yeah, it has a cool back story and yeah, it’s a palindrome, and yeah, they are growing or something, but they should have released it under a different name because I feel tricked.
Worst New Reality Show I’ll Still Watch
Mama Drama is a show on VH1 about a bunch of loose cougars hanging out with the younger versions of themselves, their daughters. There’s even a pair that dresses alike every day. None of them are entertaining or unique or likeable, although the mom that wears a diaper out to the clubs to avoid germy bathrooms might be the exception, but I still watched every episode. I have a problem.
The Best Living Representation of Butter Flavored Jell-O